Q: What can you do when you are totally uncomfortable with your body and it is very much affecting your sex life with the man of your dreams?
A: The only person who can change how comfortable you are with your body is you. If your insecurities are affecting your sex life with a man you love, then it’s important to address the reasons why you feel so insecure. Does he make you feel unattractive? Do you always feel unattractive, or just when you’re having sex? What about your body makes you the most insecure? To feel more positive about your body, you need to pinpoint what makes you the most uncomfortable and why that is. It’s also going to require a lot of honesty between you and your partner. Engage in a dialogue and ask him what he finds the most attractive about you, and what you do, say, or have that turns him on the most. If you know what turns him on, then you’ll be more likely to
utilize that during sex. If you’re worried about him seeing you naked, then start slowly with the lights off. For a week, have sex with minimal lighting and then, as you continue on, increase the lighting until you’re fully comfortable having sex with him while he can see your whole body. You need to be honest with yourself about why you have these insecurities about your body, and you need to trust that if he really is the man of your dreams, then he does find you attractive and wants to have sex with you. If you aren’t able to relax with your partner, then sex won’t be as satisfying as you want it to be. Relax and trust, and you’ll finally be able to have the sex of your dreams with the man of your dreams.
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